Exclusive!! Baby Abandoned at Library!

Minneapolis, MN – Authorities were shocked to discover a special needs baby abandoned by its mother at the Hennepin County library in downtown Minneapolis, OB&B can exclusively report. Found outside the central library along Nicollet Mall by an alert patron, the infant snowman, dubbed “Snowy” by rescuers, suffers from a disorder that can be fatal but only if conditions are right. “Thankfully, the mother didn’t leave the baby inside or we’d be investigating a homicide,” medical examiners explained. Minnesota state law allows mothers to abandon their babies at any hospital but this does not include libraries, so authorities are looking to speak with Snowy’s mother although it is unclear if they will press charges.

After finding the baby’s medical condition to be stable, authorities scrambled to find adequate transportation and emergency foster care. “Obviously, with Snowy’s special needs, we can’t take him to just any foster home in the back of a warm car,” said one official. Luckily, ACME Ice Company quickly volunteered a truck and emergency housing for little Snowy until his long term care can be determined, and they report Snowy is comfortable in his new surroundings. Rumors are swirling that the Jolie-Pitt camp has already expressed an interest in adoption.

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3 Responses to Exclusive!! Baby Abandoned at Library!

  1. lutherdammit says:

    Oh my goodness that is so frigging adorable! It’s funny because I was expecting a story about an actual human baby being abandoned. It’s really refreshing to see something so upbeat and positive like that.


  2. lutherdammit says:

    And my profile picture seems broken! Bleah!

  3. Drae says:

    Yeah – I was trying to be a little sneaky in my attempt at fake news.

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