Speculation has abounded about the reasoning behind the abrupt termination of the relationship between Keith Olbermann and MSNBC on Friday. But the network has put any and all rumor mongering to bed with the announcement of their new offering in the coveted 8 PM time slot. A show which MSNBC is certain will provide higher ratings than Countdown With Keith Olbermann.
In prepared statements MSNBC executives could scarcely contain their excitement about a show that they believe will provide the struggling network with desperately needed ratings.
“This is gonna be big. I mean, Anderson Cooper 360 big.”
Speaking directly to Keith Olbermann’s fans, MSNBC promised that “MSNBC: Test Patterns” will contain every bit as much political insight as Countdown.
“We felt that after Keith’s dismissal we owed it to his audience to continue to provide one hour of programming that maintained the broadcasting standards that they have come to expect from MSNBC. In fact, we are convinced that even Keith’s most loyal fans will not notice the difference.”
When asked about the reasoning behind showing a test pattern for 60 minutes during prime-time, an anonymous MSNBC executive explained that,
“With the recent focus on vitriol in political opinion shows, we felt that we were better off playing it safe with a host we didn’t have to worry might chew off the camera’s lens hood during any given broadcast.”
And preemptively addressing concerns over the show’s audio track (one long, sustained, high frequency note),
“It’s not like MSNBC wasn’t already known for being monotone.”
Former Democratic Representative Alan Grayson has already expressed an interest in appearing on the show.